Today is retrieval day for my 4th IVF (This is my second fresh cycle). I’m waiting in the waiting room and I’m anxious for a number of reasons. I don’t want to be out and about right now with COVID-19 rampant in Florida. I want to be at home in self quarantine, not in a doctor’s office lobby breathing shared air.
I am also alone. Spouses are unable to come up so my son and husband are in the parking lot downstairs in the car waiting for me.
We are doing PGS because “advanced maternal age” so there won’t be a fresh transfer… which leads me to the only bright spot: I can drink wine and coffee again. Given that there is a global pandemic afoot, wine sounds pretty good right now.
I remember my first fresh cycle several years ago. It was all consuming. It was so stressful. Now, with COVID-19, working from home full time with a young child due to school closures, worrying about my health and the health of those I love, and with the one year anniversary of my dad’s passing coming up, IVF feels like a fly buzzing around my head. I’ll be very happy when today is over and I can have one less thing to stress about.
IVF builds character, that’s for sure. So I’m here alone, going into surgery alone, purell-ing the shit out of my hands, and praying for success. And health. And so many, many things right now.